http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-diamond-like-sign-made-gems-image35762654I have spent four years feeling frustrated in my business – for a number of reasons really but the main one which I think most of you can understand is that illusion of the friggen silver bullet or magic pill. (I’m not much of a swearer normally but it may help convey how frustrated I am/was).

You know the one, once you find it everything will fall into place. So you keep on buying courses, joining Facebook groups. doing anything and everything you see on social media with the hope that finally you will feel like a success and still you get nowhere.

Maybe I’m offering the wrong service, maybe I’ve priced it too high – hang on a moment you know what if I give it away to a few people they will love me so much they will tell everyone and I will be overrun with customers.

You know what it never worked… if anything the people who got my help for free or for little cost barely left me with a nice testimonial and I don’t think ever referred anyone to me.

I kept trying to over deliver and wow people that I was completely not being generous with myself or treating myself with integrity.

In life so far I had found there were simple rules that if you followed you would succeed.

In school, do the work, be polite to your teacher and classmates and a good grade was pretty much guaranteed.

In work, follow the job description, be bright and bubbly without thinking too much, and go out of your way to help and you would make your boss happy.

All of a sudden you are in business where people are buying you – but what do they want? How can you make them happy? What can you write on a sales page to make them hit the buy now button?

It just wasn’t as simple. My first lesson into this different world of business has still left me scarred and wary – an important lesson but one that still makes me feel angry and a bit stupid. And I hate feeling stupid, I’m meant to be the one who KNOWS it all god damn it.

Being green and super keen to make a huge impact on the world I agreed to a strategy session with an online coach. She was so matter of fact, even though it really bugged me she was eating an apple or something during our call (small side note – people eating nosily is one of my huge annoyances) I listened with bated breath as I waited for her to explain to me how I can could create a six figure business or was it just a course that made me lots of money.

Either way I was hanging on her every word – I hadn’t checked her experience or that she actually knew what she was talking about. Her idea for me – was simple and seemed easy enough. We got to the end and I was waiting to hear the price (later I would learn to be prepared at the end of these strategy/sales calls for a big number which would make you lose your breath for a second).

As she said the amount my heart sank and my stomach clenched – there was no way I could pay that kind of money. But of course then came the buy today at this price or the price goes up.

I discussed it with my hubby and he put his faith in me and the coach and what she was offering. We decided the investment would be worth it to be able to make money for a deposit for our house. Back then that was my dream to help people and save up a deposit for our house..

It hadn’t entered our mind that we may not make our money back. So I signed up and whilst I learnt a lot – it wasn’t worth anything near the investment I had made. Plus as soon as I started to struggle selling places into my course – the coach no longer wanted to know me. Even when I spent more money on working in person I still didn’t get where I needed to go.
Later I realised her actual only experience in creating online courses was that she had created her own course and for a few others who already had huge established lists – the rest of us were just good numbers she could brag about and still does to this day – I made 5 figures in one week.

This is the trouble with courses or programs that offer a one size fits all approach – I know and you know – it’s great for the people it works for, but the rest of us gets left behind or forgotten. People can claim to be an expert and their only experience is doing it once for themselves… and then they create a course. And if the packaging is nice enough, they’re popular enough or their bright coloured hair stands out in a FB Newsfeed all of a sudden they are the go to person. They may eventually become what they claim to be but often it’s after, not before.

It was time for me to say STOP and so should you.

Because you realise you already know more than those who are trying to teach you, the same cliquey groups still exist on Facebook and it doesn’t matter if you have a cure for cancer – fundamentally there is something going on in with you, in you – it’s all about YOU! That’s where there is a disconnect of some sort..

So after four years of frustration and disappointment I decided to try something different – instead of business development I went for self development.

Why wasn’t I getting anywhere?
Why were the people I was trying to help going to others who were much more expensive or who had hardly any experience?
Was it simply I didn’t know my people actually were meant to be?
I had I followed so much different advice over the years that I had ended up with a confused audience and no one knowing what I stood for?

I’m guessing you can tell this is the beginning of my self reflection – I don’t have all the answers and how it will impact my business I’m yet to discover.
So far I can tell you that it is completely scary, nerve wracking and also making me giddy with excitement for what I may discover about me and YOU the person I was meant to help.

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